Domestic and family violence is an insidious and prevalent issue that affects individuals, families, and communities across Australia. It happens in all ages, socioeconomic groups, cultures, and genders. However, the statistics are clear that women suffer violence at the hands of current or former intimate partners at far greater rates.
Recognising domestic violence, understanding what’s involved, and where to get domestic violence help are critical steps to enable safety and recovery. Leaving a domestic violence relationship often is dangerous, and it takes planning and resources. It contains key information and links to support services available in Australia.
What is Domestic and Family Violence?
Domestic and family violence extends beyond physical assault. It includes a series of abusive behaviours that one person uses to establish power and control over another person in an intimate relationship, family setting, or cohabiting arrangement.
Recognising the Signs
Abuse can take many forms, and it often starts in small ways and gets progressively worse. Key types of physical abuse include hitting, pushing, or restraining. Sexual abuse is defined as any compelled or unwarranted sexual behaviour.
Emotional and psychological abuses include actions designed to erode a person’s sense of self-worth and instil fear via controlling actions like constant criticism, humiliation, intimidation, threats (toward the individual, children, pets, and/or self), stalking, and manipulation. Social abuse can come from friends, family, and support networks.
Financial abuse can manifest as controlling access to money; keeping someone from working or attending school; or racking up debt in the person’s name. Technology-facilitated abuse is when devices and online platforms are used to monitor, harass, stalk, or control someone.
The hidden pattern is coercive control, which includes ongoing tactics to dominate and exploit an individual, taking away their autonomy of movements or freedom to avoid in the foreseeable future. Importantly, it is never the fault of the person experiencing abuse — this is 100% the responsibility of the perpetrator.
Domestic Violence Is Still With Us
The impact of domestic and family violence is profound and wide-reaching. Injuries can either be immediate or long-term. The emotional and psychological toll can manifest as anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), fear, confusion, loss of self-esteem, and distrust of others.
Financial insecurity is a common consequence of financial abuse or the expenses of leaving. Domestic violence can cause substantial emotional, behavioural, and developmental damage to children exposed to it, and the effects can be lasting, affecting their well-being as they grow.
How Difficult It Is to Leave a Domestic Violence Relationship
And though the outside advice can sound easy — just go — the reality of leaving a domestic violence relationship is incredibly complicated and filled with obstacles. These complexities must be understood to provide practical domestic violence support.
Why It Can Be Difficult and Dangerous to Leave
There are multiple barriers to leaving an abusive relationship. In general, fear of retaliation or escalation of violence is the number one enemy, as statistics prove that the risk of being murdered can increase exponentially at separation or in the period afterwards.
Threats to children, pets, or family members can keep you from leaving. Leaving the abuser also becomes impractical when finances are tied up with the abuser or the survivor is in an area with few affordable housing possibilities or resources. Emotional bonds — love, the hope of change, and an obligation — can exist alongside fear and abuse. Separation from their support networks, which the abuser has willfully executed, causes isolation that makes victims feel as though they have no one to turn to.
Societal pressures, cultural norms, or embarrassment and shame can also contribute. We must acknowledge these barriers and understand that leaving is a process, not an event, and usually takes several attempts.
Importance of Safety Planning
Due to these escalating risks of separation, it’s crucial for those leaving a domestic violence relationship to develop a safety plan. A safety plan is a customised application strategy that can help someone maximise their safety while staying in the relationship, when getting ready to leave, or after they have left.
This includes identifying risks and creating plans to address them. The Domestic Violence Professional Support Services are beneficial for individuals to develop a thorough yet realistic safety plan relevant to their situation.
Developing a Safety Plan
Whenever possible, a trained domestic violence support worker should assist in creating the safety plan. However, knowing the basic elements can free people to start thinking about their safety.
Online and Technology Safety
Technology-enhanced abuse is rampant in a digital world. Online risk must also be part of safety planning. This encompasses regularly changing login credentials for e-mail, social media, banking, and other online accounts; reviewing privacy settings on social media; being mindful of monitoring software (spyware) on phones or computers; turning off location services on devices and apps when location information isn’t needed; and being judicious about what you share online.
Help from domestic violence support services or tech safety experts can help find and counter these risks.
Conclusion
Finally, domestic and family violence represents a key area of concern with far-reaching consequences. But there is support across Australia. Identifying the signs of abuse, appreciating the enormity of leaving a domestic violence relationship, and planning for your safety are critical steps.
There are professionals in domestic violence support services who are trained and capable of providing you with the guidance and support you need to make the right decisions, along with the resources to do so. Seeking help is a sign of strength, and support is available 24/7—just a reminder: your safety is paramount.
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